Regrets can be a large negative lump in our lives. It can be a regret of things you have never done, or things you have said, or things you have never said. Sometimes we focus on these things much too much. Regrets can change your life, sometimes for good, but mostly for worse. Here are some things that will hopefully help you deal with them and never have worries about regrets again.
Never leave things unsaid
One of the biggest regrets people have is not being able to tell somebody something and have them pass away. Telling that relative that one last time that you love them, and not being able to, is a heartbreaking thing. Heaven forbid, they pass away while you’re in the middle of an argument and not speaking to them. People regret those kinds of things for the rest of their lives. You may love that relative very much, and that argument is only in passing, but then suddenly it becomes permanent. We have always made it a point to tell those that we love, that we love them, every day. When we get angry and were going to go to sleep, we just have to think about what would happen if they pass away in the night and all that anger goes away, and we tell them that we love them. You can still be angry at them, but at least you have not left the fact that you love them go unsaid.
Make sure everything you say is in a positive way
Aside from telling people that you love them, many other things often go unsaid. Things that you really want to tell people, whether they are good or bad. Very often it might be something that can be perceived as it extremely negative thing, that you really need to tell somebody, just for an example, if somebody is very mean, you really just can’t tell them that they are mean. It may cause a large problem and again you will feel regret for it possibly in the future. You’re better off always coaching it in a positive way. When they show the behavior that you wish to tell them about, you can say it would be so nice if they said something to make someone smile, or saying how would they feel if someone said that to them. Instead of tearing someone down, it is always better to build them up. We, as humans, are built in many ways to focus on the negative. So that’s something we have to make an effort to overcome. Always be positive.
Accept that you can be wrong and make mistakes
Sometimes we have regrets by getting into an argument and being angry, and that argument can end up blasting a lifetime. It’s not uncommon to hear stories about friends or siblings that got into an argument and haven’t spoken for 20 years. The majority of the time, if you ask them what the argument was about, they can’t even remember. All they remember is they were angry at them and they’re not talking to them. Sometimes you just have to judge what is better for your life and there’s. Just admitting you’re wrong, especially if you are, or taking the chance of not talking for many years. Even if the argument only goes for a few days, the unhappiness will pass from them and you into others. So again, like ripples in a pond, your actions affect others, and those others affect others again, so your small argument becomes rather a large one. There is an expression that pride goes before a fall, so don’t let your pride get the better of you, and just admit you’re wrong when you are (and sometimes even if you aren’t).
Look at how others feel and not just yourself
Regrets often come from being selfish. We are too interested or invested in our own lives to understand other people’s lives. If you do not have empathy for others, you will find that often your life does not go as smoothly as it should, and you may have many regrets. Start thinking about what makes other people happy, and how they feel about you, and adjust to it. Saying you’re sorry, smiling at someone, or telling them that you love them, are all important things to make the world a better place. That’s not to say that you can’t think about yourself, it just mean think about others as well. You live in a world with others, so taking care of that world and keeping others happy, will keep you happy as well.
You can’t change the past, only the future
The previous points have mostly been about avoiding regret. But what if the action has already happened in his past, and you’re carrying that regret with you. That person passed away and you didn’t get to tell them something special, or you said something mean to somebody at school and made them cry, and it’s always made you feel bad. Those are the hardest regrets to deal with. But the main thing you can learn from these things is that they are unchangeable. To have regrets is like watching a sports game where your favorite team lost, and then keep watching it over and over again and hoping they win. They’re never going to win because the game was in the past. It cannot change. Those of the same with regrets that you have in your life. You have to look at the past and accepted, all those things you have done are just things you have done. You can change them for the future. You just have to accept the past because that is who you are, that is who you have become, and that is also what made you what you are. It may be a bit hard sometimes, you’re on a video running around naked from spring break when you were in college, and all your friends see it on the Internet and it’s followed you through life. But instead of regretting it, sometimes you just have to look at it differently. Everybody does things they regret, but if you accept them you can make it a positive thing. And hopefully, you learned your lesson and are not going to be running around naked at spring break again. (And if you are, make sure you wear a mask and nobody has a camera). We may joke about these things, but things like that can be emotionally scarring and carry through life. That’s why it’s so important to realize that they are in the past and you cannot do anything about them, so the best you can do is accept it and accept that it happened and move on. The only thing you can change the future and who you are and that future, the past is already been written.
People always say they regret this or they regret that and very often it’s something small or light and they don’t take it as seriously as they should. Regrets are generally bad decisions you made in the past, but as we just said, they are in the past so just deal with the future and try not to make more bad decisions. So for the past, learn from your mistakes, cross them off and move on. Sometimes it’s even better just to accept them and make a joke of it, even if you don’t find it very funny, the fact that you’re letting it wash over you as humor will often show other people that it’s unimportant. And if it becomes unimportant it will no longer bother you. The future? That’s in your hands. If you don’t want to have any more regrets, then you need to look at your life, tell those around you that you love them, and try your best not to keep anything bottled up inside. Ask yourself at the end of every day just before you go to sleep if there’s anything you should have done today. If your world ended that night, is there anything you wish you had done, and if there is when you wake up the next day start planning to do it. Anytime you hear yourself saying you have regret, look at it, and either learn from it or change it because we both know in this world there should be no regrets, you should live life to the fullest. It’s time for that fantastic life, so reach out and take it.
